It's time to go back... in time that is! See how it all began as Harry sets off for his very first year at Hogwarts. He's ready to go but our hero is in for a surprise or two when he meets Ron Weasley and finds out that he's no ordinary 11 year old wiz-kid, he's the most famous guy in the wizarding world... He's Harry Freakin' Potter! "A Very Potter Sequel" is an unofficial, fan-made, parody show.
Harry Freakin' Potter - music and lyrics by Darren Criss
RON:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
You don't understand
you're a legend, man,
to us all!
Every son and daughter--
RON & THE KIDS: [spoken] "SAFE!"
RON:
... From You-Know-Who,
all because of you!
You were small,
but I wonder if you can recall...
[CHORUS: Oooo...]
RON:
Long story short,
this guy,
[whispered] "Voldemort"
was super cruel...
HARRY:
[spoken] "Voldemort?"
THE KIDS:
[GASP!] "SHHH!!!"
CHORUS: Oooo...]
RON:
... Tried to kill you & your parents,
and this is where it gets intensely cool...
Even though you were a tiny little boy,
you shoulda died but you survived and then destroyed
this evil guy and it's story we enjoy to tell....
RON & THE KIDS:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
We don't prefer Gandalf,
Merlin, or Oz,
You're a whole lot hotter!
With that lighting scar,
you're a superstar to us all!
If we're in trouble we know who to call!
[DANCE BREAK]
RITA SKEETER:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
I wouldn't wince at all,
you're invincible to all harm!
Like betty crocker--
RITA SKEETER & THE KIDS:
[Oooh!]
RITA:
... I wanna eat you up!
No one'll beat you up
with that charm!
Remember, Harry, kid,
you're the Boss,
you're the King,
you're the Bomb!
HARRY:
But this is all so sad,
I mean, my Mom and Dad
were killed, long ago...
THE KIDS:
[Long ago they died!]
HARRY:
... I wanna be psyched,
but being unliked
is all I know...
CHORUS:
[... All he knows, that's why--]
HARRY:
I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate,
an opportunity eleven years late...
I guess it's time for me step up to the plate
and show 'em that I'm something great!
I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
I'll do what I can
if what you say I am is true!
I can't be bothered
by my awful past,
I've found at last
something I can do,
so it's time I knew
exactly who I am...
I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
THE KIDS:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
HARRY & THE KIDS
I'm/You're Harry Freakin' Potter--
HARRY:
... And I'm the Man!
THE KIDS:
[Ahhhhhh]
HARRY & THE KIDS:
[spoken] "HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"
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